US Bureau of Local Assistance
Zoning Department
3223 Ichabod NW
Washington, DC
August 19, 1998
Ms. Ann Tigua
206 Lagrima SW
Albuquerque, NM 87102
Dear Ms. Tigua:
As you know, local zoning matters are complex, arcane and a source of continual discord in our towns and villages from sea to shining sea. Your Federal Government has accepted the challenge once again to assist our citizens in every way possible. Therefore, we are now involved in local zoning matters. Many people thank us.
In your area, a parcel of land has been the center of controversy for some years. Inasmuch as the city and the residents and the property owners have not been able to resolve this matter, we are bringing our expertise to bear for the benefit of all involved.
After reviewing Massachusetts’ pertinent statistical factors and using a specialized weighted average factoring in the coefficients of growth, job quality, past land use, traffic patterns, income, ethnicity, voter registration and valid automobile insurance, we have decided to place the following zoning in effect for the property more or less south of Frontal Avenue, more or less East of Cabot Blvd and more or less north of present structures: I-3
I-3, or Heavy Industrial, is perhaps best suited to the siting of a drop forge or foundry. The relative proximity of rail lines (just 1 mile east) makes Frontal (former US 12) an ideal route for ore trucks. Substantial underemployment in the general area (retirees) will be addressed. Massachusetts has a severe lack of industry and industrial jobs. This will go a long way toward remedying that.
We are confident that science will soon find ultrasonic noise abatement mitigation measures and ways of dealing with toxic waste and heavy metal emissions from such a facility.
We hope that his provides jobs and hope for all your neighbors.
Sincerely,
Walter Queso
Zoning Imposition Administrator
Letter Rip 